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• (805): View more from California

  She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up

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• (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.

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• (574): View more from Indiana

  there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.

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• (817): View more from Texas

  90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom

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• (713): View more from Texas

  His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.

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• (716): View more from New York

  Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.

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• (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.

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• (289): View more from Ontario

  my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.

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• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  I think someone is dead in a car across the street

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job

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