Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
