He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Randomize
