redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
