so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize