i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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