this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
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