windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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