so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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