this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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