dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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