What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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