i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Randomize
