Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Randomize