I faked an abortion last night.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
