Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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