He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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