That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I deserve this hangover.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
