Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
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