I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I love you. Go after that dick
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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