singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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