I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
