im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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