YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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