Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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