1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
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