We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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