I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
