Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Randomize
