I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
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