hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
