The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
