I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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