highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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