oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
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