When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
