I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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