I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
