so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
PANTIES FOUND
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