Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
