Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
