he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
