I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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