i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
