WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
how drunk are you?
Several
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
