Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
literally had 100 drinks last night.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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