It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
