no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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