He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
