I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
