I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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