The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
