I have demons in me.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Randomize
