Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize