i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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