their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
