I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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