He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
