am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
