You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize