U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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