ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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